Scary

Why is it scary? cause its halloween, and because i just read over some excerpts from previous discussions, and I must say, wow we are really dumb 99% of the time. But alas because i know everyone is dying to read something here you go. I must warn you that this is before John was introduced to the panda cams so there won't be any discussions about gao gao or tai shan, so if thats what you are looking for i'm really sorry to disappoint you. But anyway here you go, its mostly about sports and such, although I do like the part where john denies watching laguna beach, but if you read the posting below it seems to me like he is actually a fan....a big gay fan.

BSH84: you still going to a's game tomorrow?
jhmiraclebeam: yup
jhmiraclebeam: extra ticket
BSH84: would love too but championship, i want to be a two time champion
BSH84: wtf? john patterson was taken out for stomach cramps? was he on his period yesterday?
jhmiraclebeam: yeah
jhmiraclebeam: thats i said
jhmiraclebeam: that fag
BSH84: what a homo
BSH84: okay this is where they get one on for cruz
jhmiraclebeam: i didnt know you liked cruz so much
BSH84: well cause the dodgers never do anything cool like a cycle, a no hitter, a triple play, a win, its cool to see
jhmiraclebeam: hahha
jhmiraclebeam: true
BSH84: lackey is gonna be on his game today right?
jhmiraclebeam: of course
BSH84: sanez on phillips up = dp
jhmiraclebeam: saenz is setting it up
BSH84: two speed demons
jhmiraclebeam: back to back
BSH84: tracy is a smart manager
jhmiraclebeam: can this be the first dp where the ss can tag 2nd and then run to 1st and complete the dp?
BSH84: without even breathing hard
BSH84: damn my clarrett jersy is up to 10.51
BSH84: watching an auction of optimus and ultra magnus...66 bucks ends in 3 hrs
jhmiraclebeam: for both?
BSH84: yeah
jhmiraclebeam: weak
jhmiraclebeam: they walked cruz
BSH84: he scares us all
BSH84: i swear werth is as important to this team as i am
jhmiraclebeam: can lowe just give up two runs
jhmiraclebeam: you guys can have the wi
jhmiraclebeam: win
BSH84: he tried to give walker a homer
BSH84: but cruz had a good play up against the wall
jhmiraclebeam: dood
jhmiraclebeam: hes already sleeping with hughes
jhmiraclebeam: larry
jhmiraclebeam: oh yea
jhmiraclebeam: frankie
jhmiraclebeam: first ballot hof
BSH84: espn was right on with that one
BSH84: if the angels have to lose, i like to watch him lose, it makes me smile
BSH84: its dirty time
jhmiraclebeam: is it 5 yet
BSH84: i wish
BSH84: are you donating to katrina?
jhmiraclebeam: probably
jhmiraclebeam: did you for the tsunami
BSH84: yeah, 100 bucks
jhmiraclebeam: same
jhmiraclebeam: im not gonna say it
BSH84: with katrina i suggest we go back and invest in the city once people can visit
jhmiraclebeam: man
jhmiraclebeam: the picture look horrible
BSH84: very
BSH84: i'm concerned for the cemetaries they have there....i hope the krypts are okay
jhmiraclebeam: no worries, casue the bodies are burried above ground
jhmiraclebeam: shit
jhmiraclebeam: thats just gross
BSH84: a lot of the french quarter isn't as flooded as bad cause its a little more elevated
jhmiraclebeam: did you see the pic of the superdome
jhmiraclebeam: thats pretty insane
jhmiraclebeam: i guess no return trip this nov?
BSH84: the superdome roof is tore up, yeah i'll wait until next year i think
BSH84: but i would like to return to see how it looks
jhmiraclebeam: me too
jhmiraclebeam: we can actually go on a city swamp tour
BSH84: you just want more gumbo
jhmiraclebeam: too soon?
BSH84: wow.....yes too soon, but still laughing
jhmiraclebeam: man...i really feel bad for them
jhmiraclebeam: just remembering all the places we passed and just imagiining it all destroyed
BSH84: yeah cause a lot is brick that wouldn't hold up
jhmiraclebeam: yeah
jhmiraclebeam: and wood
jhmiraclebeam: 175 mph winds
BSH84: exactly......who built a city below sea level next to big bodies of water?
jhmiraclebeam: i think it would easy beat the wolf in blowing the houses down
BSH84: yes i think the wolf would still be huffing and puffing
BSH84: and the answer to my question is the french
jhmiraclebeam: are you sure about that one
BSH84: yes
jhmiraclebeam: the french are very meticulous when it comes to planning
jhmiraclebeam: take the french and indian war
jhmiraclebeam: they won that one easily
BSH84: ah yes, my bad, must have been the mexicans
jhmiraclebeam: no
jhmiraclebeam: spaniards
jhmiraclebeam: they're the same as mexicans right?
BSH84: mexicans the first generation
jhmiraclebeam: same as star trek?
BSH84: exactly
jhmiraclebeam: what were we talking about again
BSH84: new orleans
jhmiraclebeam: brb
BSH84: i think the intern next door is cute
jhmiraclebeam: gotta make some yellow boxes. wanna box foo?
jhmiraclebeam: bitch
BSH84: whore
BSH84: so we are gonna see just like heaven right? its the perfect compliment to sweet home alabamer
jhmiraclebeam: hahaha
jhmiraclebeam: of course
BSH84: fuck why is it not 5
jhmiraclebeam: because it needs to be 4 before it turns 5 stupid
BSH84: i heard you watch laguna beach, is that true?
jhmiraclebeam: i do
jhmiraclebeam: no
jhmiraclebeam: i listen to it when jen is watching it
BSH84: "listen" gotcha, that show makes me angry, my sister was watching it
jhmiraclebeam: if i watched it, i would have to sock the screen
BSH84: same here
jhmiraclebeam: cause you take a limo when you go bowlig right
BSH84: i have it pick me up from work every thurs.
jhmiraclebeam: definitely tomorrow for the championships right
BSH84: of course, that way when they announce me i'll have a sweet G ride
jhmiraclebeam: hummer or reg
BSH84: hummer with spinners of course
jhmiraclebeam: solid
BSH84: did you know that tara reid has the iq of a sock monkey?
jhmiraclebeam: wow
jhmiraclebeam: a sock monkey
jhmiraclebeam: i was thinking hand puppet
jhmiraclebeam: but damn....smarter than i thought
BSH84: i was more suprised that the superficial guy was a Ultimate fighting champion, but he retired
jhmiraclebeam: man
jhmiraclebeam: hes all round gifted
BSH84: he is the coolest guy ever
jhmiraclebeam: im just impressed with his degree
BSH84: well who wouldn't be
BSH84: why is yadrir molina batting 4th?
BSH84: delgado being lazy dropped a ball
jhmiraclebeam: indians and tiegers like to score a lot in the first huh
BSH84: its their thing
jhmiraclebeam: the indians are scary good
BSH84: i wouldn't mind them winning the wild card
BSH84: they have young guys that are good
jhmiraclebeam: what
jhmiraclebeam: you dont want the yanks
BSH84: like aaron boone
jhmiraclebeam: no
BSH84: well the yanks will win the east
jhmiraclebeam: hes the veteran leader
BSH84: do they still have joey belle?
jhmiraclebeam: no
jhmiraclebeam: just albert
jhmiraclebeam: hey....hey....hey
BSH84: joey was cooler
BSH84: how you doin?
jhmiraclebeam: yeah
jhmiraclebeam: albert was meaner
jhmiraclebeam: but i think he was just labeled
BSH84: i like his burritos
jhmiraclebeam: those elbows werent intentional
jhmiraclebeam: were they?
BSH84: no, vina threw his face at him
BSH84: hey where is vina? didn't he sign with det? where is he now?
jhmiraclebeam: hes a bus boy at denny's
BSH84: the denny's in vegas with the T-bone thats sooooooooooooooooo good
jhmiraclebeam: im sorry
jhmiraclebeam: up north serving gelato
BSH84: they have a gelato place at bellagio, i found it while walking around aimlessly
jhmiraclebeam: yeah
jhmiraclebeam: i saw it to
jhmiraclebeam: next to this club
jhmiraclebeam: light i think
BSH84: i have not heard of that place
BSH84: do you know someone i could talk to about it?
jhmiraclebeam: why yes
jhmiraclebeam: i do know someone who works there
BSH84: oh wow
jhmiraclebeam: why didnt you call me yesterday
BSH84: was i supposed to?
BSH84: i fell asleep early
jhmiraclebeam: i would have helped you look for the person who carjacked you
BSH84: hahaha...my bad but they aer there a lot
BSH84: michael jackson is going to be recording a song for hurricane rellief........we can all stop donating now...that will make gajillions
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: oh shoot
JHmiraclebeam: i havent donated yet
JHmiraclebeam: do you think i could send them transformers
BSH84: i was gonna send them a luke skywalker and a chewbacca, that should be plenty
JHmiraclebeam: yeah
JHmiraclebeam: they can sell it or give it to a kid
BSH84: as long as the kid doesn't open it, i'm cool with it
BSH84: time for the superficial
JHmiraclebeam: brb
JHmiraclebeam: good stuff
JHmiraclebeam: made up for the last couple of days
BSH84: yes...we can't let the terrorists win...we can't listen to that baby store
pinkymon2225: what would you be more disappointed by
pinkymon2225: barry coming back and the giants making the playoffs or the dodgers being in last place, being worse than the rockies
BSH84: probably giants making the playoffs
BSH84: cause i know we suck and this should teach our management that you can't put crap on the field
BSH84: the giants however have been below dodgers, dbacks, pads all season so to see them win would almost be unfair, just cause 1 person came back, and he would be eligible for the playoffs
pinkymon2225: IT JUST CAUSE YOU HATE BARRY
BSH84: no, moreseo hate the giants, respect barry
BSH84: and his naturally grown muscles
pinkymon2225: JAY SEO OR MORE SO
BSH84: jay seo for the most part
BSH84: did you know that jason christiansen and barry got into a real fight in june? and thats why he was traded?
pinkymon2225: NOT BECAUSE HE SUCKED?
pinkymon2225: AND CHRISTIANSEN WON RIGHT
BSH84: yeah, and thus asserted himself as leader of the clubhouse, all hail christiansen
pinkymon2225: YES
pinkymon2225: ALL HAIL CHRISTIANSEN
BSH84: so yeah don't expect bonds to come to the angels next year for a rematch
pinkymon2225: RAISE YOUR CUP
BSH84: huzzahh!!
pinkymon2225: AWWW....DONT WORRY
pinkymon2225: BARRY DOESNT CARRY ANY GRUDGES
pinkymon2225: WE'LL GET HIM
BSH84: thats true, he is very understanding
BSH84: ooh espn has live coverage of barry doing bp
pinkymon2225: HOW DOES HE LOOK?
BSH84: he has nice legs
pinkymon2225: SEXY
pinkymon2225: AND HIS HEAD
pinkymon2225: IS IT STILL HUGE?
BSH84: he hit a few liners, they have the camera right on him, so you can't tell where the ball is going
BSH84: head still as big as his ego
pinkymon2225: WOW....HOW DOES HE WALK AROUND THEN
pinkymon2225: NOW I UNDERSTAND THE STRESS HIS KNEES MUST GO THROUGH
BSH84: he has a great balancing act
BSH84: yes thats why it takes him longer to recover
pinkymon2225: THERE IS A BATBOY
pinkymon2225: YOU BITE YOUR TONGUE
BSH84: i haven't seen him in the news lately
BSH84: no barry tonight
BSH84: 10 years ago cal set the new record, what are the 10 best mlb records set since then?
pinkymon2225: UH
pinkymon2225: I SAY MCGWIRE AND BONDS BREAKING THE HR RECORD
pinkymon2225: ONLY BECAUSE THEY'VE DONE IT ALL LEGITLY
BSH84: of course, that makes sense
pinkymon2225: NOT MANY RECORDS WERE BROKEN
BSH84: i know, the hrs record, gagne, abreu for oldest living player...what else?
pinkymon2225: REX HUDLER, MOST ANNOYING ANNOUNCER FOR 8 YEARS IN A ROW
BSH84: haha...he also has most weed smoked by an announcer
pinkymon2225: ARE YOU SURE HES JUST SMOKING WEEK
pinkymon2225: WEED
pinkymon2225: I THINK A LITTLE CRACK ON THE SIDE OR SPEED
pinkymon2225: OR DOC GOODEN
pinkymon2225: HOW MANY ARRESTS BY AN EX-PLAYER
BSH84: ooh that has to be on their countdown list
BSH84: giambi most times being injected in the ass?
pinkymon2225: NO
pinkymon2225: YOU KNOW PALMEIRO HAS HIM BEAT
pinkymon2225: BRETT BOONE
pinkymon2225: HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET CUT IN ONE SEASON
BSH84: he also has consecutive years with gay frosted hair
pinkymon2225: AH....TRUE
pinkymon2225: HOW ABOUT CAMERON
pinkymon2225: MOST BROKEN FACIAL BONES
BSH84: most bones broken in a face?
BSH84: haha....nice
pinkymon2225: FUCKER
pinkymon2225: STEAL MY THUNDER
BSH84: darren dreifort, most money stolen from a team
pinkymon2225: HAHA
pinkymon2225: OH....I THINK THATS A TIE WITH NEAGLE
pinkymon2225: OR PONSON
BSH84: hmm possibly, neagle already has ugliest hooker picked up
pinkymon2225: FRANK THOMAS IS A CLOSE SECOND I THINK
BSH84: and ponson has most drunk driving
pinkymon2225: TRUE
pinkymon2225: TRUE
pinkymon2225: MAYBE HE DID IT
pinkymon2225: ARUBA
pinkymon2225: JUST SAYING
pinkymon2225: BEAT UP THE JUDGE
BSH84: hmm that is a good possibility
BSH84: no one is mentioning that, but i see a connection
BSH84: #10 mariners 116 wins
BSH84: #9 1998 yanks win 125 games
BSH84: #8 mike piazza hrs for a catcher
BSH84: #7 rickey henderson for most runs scored
BSH84: #6 ichiro 262 hits
pinkymon2225: IS THIS OFF OF ESPN
BSH84: #5 gagne save streak
BSH84: yes
BSH84: #4 rocket wins 7 cy youngs
pinkymon2225: GOING TO BE 8
BSH84: #3 red sox first team to recover from 0-3 in a playoff
pinkymon2225: SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE
BSH84: #2 mcgwire 70 hrs
BSH84: #1 barriod 73 hrs
pinkymon2225: HMMM
BSH84: honorable mention walks in a season too
pinkymon2225: IM BIASED
pinkymon2225: I THINK ICHIRO SHOULD BE #1
pinkymon2225: CAUSE HES ASIAN
pinkymon2225: BUT BECAUSE HE'S JAPANESE
pinkymon2225: HE SHOULDNT BE ON THE LIST
BSH84: haha....what about danny graves for crappiest reliever?
pinkymon2225: PLEASE
BSH84: he is asian and didn't make it either
pinkymon2225: DONNELY HAS HIM BEAT
BSH84: as does brazobad
pinkymon2225: GRAVES DID IT FOR A CRAPPY TEAM
BSH84: true
pinkymon2225: ITS LIKE SAYING LEE SMITH IS THE GREATEST CLOSER
pinkymon2225: HE ISNT
pinkymon2225: NEVER CLOSED OUT IN BIG GAMES
pinkymon2225: PLUS HES BLACK
pinkymon2225: SO THAT KNOCKS HIM DOWN A LOT
BSH84: hahahaha, very true
pinkymon2225: SERIOUSLY THOUGH
BSH84: not like frankie, who already has one foot in the hall of fame
pinkymon2225: YES
pinkymon2225: DUH

if you read this far i give you props and wish to inform you that your IQ has just decreased by 25 points, i'm sorry but its true.

Happy Halloween!

greetings everyone! halloween has now bestowed itself upon us, giving everyone a lame excuse to be stupid and dress up. topco (http://www.topcosales.us/), who owns this shitty company that i work for, had a halloween party today and invited us to join. i have to admit, it was a lot of fun and i ate a lot of food too. here are some of the pics of the employees at miraclebeam:



not gay at all right? that's wally in the middle. ask him to do the robot for you......




this isn't a costume....its the real tyrone biggums!




finally the best costume for last.....king koopa! the funny thing is, she dresses up like koopa everyday to work. of course she only makes that face if you try to stop her from her meal. i swear, sometimes i want to punch her so bad. seriously, doesn't she look like him? at least her body is the same exact size. hahaha......

okay, i have more pics, but im too lazy to upload them. ill probably redo this later. peace!

tgif....thick goo inside fetuses?

so this day is half over and i realized i haven't done anything today. i mean i can only talk to brad for so long (btw...nice work on the new look brad), so i decided im going to post up some conversations i've had with other people. hmm....why you ask? i don't know. i figure, brad and i talk about two things: pandas and sports. although tai shan is a great panda bear, im sure you might get a little bored.

so to spice it up a little, im going to save all my convos now and post them up on random days. it'll be fun. sort of like, "you're on candid camera" but on aim instead. and instead of it being funny, its gonna suck. so enjoy my first convo with guinea pig wally.....

john and wally's great convo on october 25, 2005......

topcowally (9:14:23 AM): oh it's cool
topcowally (9:14:28 AM): when did u blow me off
topcowally (9:14:36 AM): i don't rememberJ
Hmiraclebeam (9:14:37 AM): i wasnt really listening ot you
JHmiraclebeam (9:14:38 AM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (9:14:39 AM): okay
JHmiraclebeam (9:14:42 AM): nevermind then
topcowally (9:14:43 AM): oh it's cool
topcowally (9:14:52 AM): but watch laguna next week
topcowally (9:14:56 AM): it's gonna be good
JHmiraclebeam (9:15:02 AM): whats it about
JHmiraclebeam (9:15:06 AM): yesterdays sucked?
topcowally (9:16:11 AM): yeah
topcowally (9:16:12 AM): it sucked
topcowally (9:16:26 AM): but lc tells off jessica and jason next week
topcowally (9:16:31 AM): it's gonna be sweet
topcowally (9:16:50 AM): cause they are gonna have a fashion show benefit
JHmiraclebeam (9:16:51 AM): whyt
opcowally (9:17:05 AM): for the laguna beach landslide victims
topcowally (9:17:22 AM): and at the benefit i guess jason is all flirting w/ jessica
topcowally (9:17:36 AM): she's like dancing on him
topcowally (9:17:47 AM): and lc grabs jessica and tells her off
topcowally (9:17:57 AM): and then tells jason to never talk to her anymore
topcowally (9:17:59 AM): i can't wait
JHmiraclebeam (9:19:06 AM): what a whore
JHmiraclebeam (9:19:20 AM): jessica gots issues man
JHmiraclebeam (9:19:40 AM): but she has big boobs and lc is a moron so its all fair
JHmiraclebeam (9:20:05 AM): oh
JHmiraclebeam (9:20:07 AM): panda time
topcowally (9:20:48 AM): oh yeah i finally saw it last night
topcowally (9:20:52 AM): i downloaded real player
topcowally (9:20:59 AM): he was boring
topcowally (9:21:04 AM): he was just lying there
topcowally (9:21:12 AM): it was like at midnight tho
topcowally (9:21:17 AM): maybe he was sleeping
topcowally (9:21:27 AM): give me the link again
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:02 AM): yeah
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:06 AM): fucking lazy bitch
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:17 AM): the best time ot watch it is in the morning
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:28 AM): cause its noon time on the east coast
topcowally (9:23:30 AM): what's the link
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:42 AM): thats when the bear breast feeds the baby
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:48 AM): gets me all hot and bothered
JHmiraclebeam (9:23:57 AM): http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html
JHmiraclebeam (9:25:13 AM): still waiting for it to take a shit
topcowally (9:25:40 AM): why do u want to see it shit for
JHmiraclebeam (9:26:40 AM): cause
JHmiraclebeam (9:26:44 AM): ive never seen a panda shit
JHmiraclebeam (9:26:55 AM): does it squat
JHmiraclebeam (9:27:03 AM): or does it sit on a toilet like humans
JHmiraclebeam (9:27:06 AM): i dont know
JHmiraclebeam (9:27:18 AM): thats the excitement
topcowally (9:27:27 AM): dude i'm totally team jessica...she's such a homewrecker...i love it
topcowally (9:32:31 AM): he's not doing anything
JHmiraclebeam (9:32:35 AM): i know
JHmiraclebeam (9:32:40 AM): lazy bitchass
JHmiraclebeam (9:32:43 AM): but hes so cute
topcowally (9:32:44 AM): dude i want to be a panda
JHmiraclebeam (9:32:57 AM): cause he knows everything?
topcowally (9:33:09 AM): no for halloween
JHmiraclebeam (9:33:19 AM): dood
JHmiraclebeam (9:33:25 AM): be a panda
topcowally (9:34:09 AM): that's what i just said
JHmiraclebeam (9:34:11 AM): im just pulling a you
topcowally (9:34:14 AM): and i'll just sit her in my costume
topcowally (9:34:17 AM): and do nothing
topcowally (9:34:23 AM): and say man i'm in character
JHmiraclebeam (9:34:29 AM): ah....
topcowally (9:34:31 AM): leave me alone
topcowally (9:34:35 AM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (9:34:42 AM): thats awesome
JHmiraclebeam (9:34:49 AM): ill be the mama panda
JHmiraclebeam (9:34:59 AM): ill come in, knock over your cubicle
topcowally (9:35:12 AM): cool and then i'll suck on your nipple for nursing
JHmiraclebeam (9:35:28 AM): fuck
JHmiraclebeam (9:35:34 AM): you stole my thunder
JHmiraclebeam (9:35:42 AM): i was going ot type it but jesse walked by
JHmiraclebeam (9:36:19 AM): i prefer you call it teet
topcowally (9:37:27 AM): sure what is that
JHmiraclebeam (9:38:51 AM): teet instead of nipple
JHmiraclebeam (9:38:53 AM): i swear
JHmiraclebeam (9:38:58 AM): im gonna punch you
topcowally (9:39:14 AM): what is teet? i really don't know
JHmiraclebeam (9:39:30 AM): teet instead of tit
JHmiraclebeam (9:39:32 AM): i dont know
topcowally (9:39:37 AM): oh ok
JHmiraclebeam (9:39:39 AM): i swear....we're not carpooliing
topcowally (9:39:53 AM): i thought it was a scientific term
JHmiraclebeam (9:40:07 AM): perhaps
topcowally (9:41:08 AM): hey u guys want to go cages right after work today?
JHmiraclebeam (9:41:16 AM): I inserted half a tube of that "tomorrow" stuff in her teet, but haven't seen a difference yet.
JHmiraclebeam (9:41:20 AM): i guess its for goats
JHmiraclebeam (9:41:26 AM): found it on goatweb.com
JHmiraclebeam (9:41:40 AM): which i will look into later
topcowally (9:41:46 AM): wtf
topcowally (9:41:54 AM): u watch goats now too
topcowally (9:41:57 AM): pandas are ok
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:00 AM): no bitch
topcowally (9:42:02 AM): but goats are too far
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:13 AM): you asked if if teet was a scientific word
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:19 AM): so i did a search
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:27 AM): bitch....dont judge
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:32 AM): it was only once
JHmiraclebeam (9:42:39 AM): that goat knew how to shake that ass
topcowally (9:42:46 AM): oh ok...hey so, it's my bro's chinese bday so my mom is ordering fish maw soup...so i'm gonna eat dinner at home
topcowally (9:42:52 AM): and since cages close at 9
topcowally (9:42:56 AM): u want to go after work
topcowally (9:43:04 AM): if it is not wet of course
JHmiraclebeam (9:43:21 AM): yeah
JHmiraclebeam (9:43:25 AM): i talk to joe about it
JHmiraclebeam (9:43:30 AM): talked
JHmiraclebeam (9:43:43 AM): and no since it would benefit you
topcowally (9:44:04 AM): haha...thanks bi-atches(in a laguna beach voice)
JHmiraclebeam (9:45:28 AM): damn...thats how i sound when i get all excited aobut laguna beach
topcowally (9:45:42 AM): yup
JHmiraclebeam (9:45:44 AM): i just punched myself in the balls
topcowally (9:45:44 AM): sorry to say
JHmiraclebeam (9:45:48 AM): i deserved it
topcowally (9:46:49 AM): ok either way it looks like it won't stop sprinkling
topcowally (9:46:55 AM): we'll see by the end of work
topcowally (9:47:10 AM): i don't want to slip on wet cement swinging
topcowally (9:47:37 AM): we all know it's hard enough for u and i to keep our balance while swinging on dry ground
JHmiraclebeam (9:47:49 AM): speak for yourself
JHmiraclebeam (9:47:54 AM): im the hr king
JHmiraclebeam (9:48:03 AM): when i say hr king, i mean swinging bunt king
topcowally (9:48:04 AM): oh yeah i forgot...my bad
topcowally (9:49:38 AM): ok costume researching time
topcowally (9:49:45 AM): where can we rent costumes
topcowally (9:49:59 AM): the freaking full mascot costumes are too expensive
topcowally (9:50:05 AM): but i want to wear one
JHmiraclebeam (9:50:32 AM): just do it
JHmiraclebeam (9:50:35 AM): dont be a puss
JHmiraclebeam (9:50:47 AM): i just realized i should have been michael in thriller
JHmiraclebeam (9:50:55 AM): but i dont have time to get the jacket and shit
topcowally (9:51:03 AM): yeah there was a david hasselhoff costume i saw yesterday
topcowally (9:51:15 AM): and the johnny boy from karate kid
topcowally (9:52:07 AM): he's yawning
topcowally (9:52:10 AM): the panda
topcowally (9:52:13 AM): ok taking a shit now
topcowally (9:52:18 AM): jk
topcowally (9:52:19 AM): haha
topcowally (9:52:23 AM): but he's yawningJ
Hmiraclebeam (9:52:26 AM): dont tease fuck face
JHmiraclebeam (9:52:42 AM): get up you lazy bastard
topcowally (9:53:07 AM): seriously
topcowally (9:53:15 AM): damn i'm gonna look for a panda costume
topcowally (9:53:56 AM): http://cgi.ebay.com/Panda-Mexican-Pro-Wrestler-Knit-Mask-halloween-hat-ski_W0QQitemZ5628500821QQcategoryZ19255QQssPageNameZWD
topcowally (9:53:59 AM): get this one
topcowally (9:54:01 AM): it's tight
JHmiraclebeam (9:54:03 AM): dood
topcowally (9:54:05 AM): like ray mysterio
JHmiraclebeam (9:54:06 AM): hes having a seizure
JHmiraclebeam (9:54:25 AM): awww...get it
JHmiraclebeam (9:54:36 AM): im already committed to my costume
JHmiraclebeam (9:55:05 AM): but i will put it on my watch list
JHmiraclebeam (9:55:11 AM): and i have to look for a beret for me and brad too...cause we looked so cool with them
topcowally (9:55:23 AM): http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-HALLOWEEN-FULL-COS
topcowally (9:55:24 AM): this too
topcowally (9:55:26 AM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (9:56:11 AM): thats fucking tight
JHmiraclebeam (9:56:29 AM): then ill wear a diaper with huge balls and be the masturbating pnada bear
JHmiraclebeam (9:57:09 AM): then youu get a smokey the bear costume and be smokey the masturbating bear
topcowally (9:59:50 AM): lol
topcowally (9:59:53 AM): http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/89346/
topcowally (9:59:58 AM): here i'll just make it
topcowally (10:00:01 AM): i think i can do it
JHmiraclebeam (10:03:23 AM): what stay puff
JHmiraclebeam (10:03:36 AM): be bentley
topcowally (10:03:50 AM): bentley farnsworth
JHmiraclebeam (10:03:56 AM): yeah
JHmiraclebeam (10:04:10 AM): just dance around the office all day
topcowally (10:04:18 AM): lol
topcowally (10:04:30 AM): i don't think i can dance that well
JHmiraclebeam (10:04:30 AM): just an excuse to dance all day
JHmiraclebeam (10:04:45 AM): just do the dance we do
topcowally (10:04:53 AM): wow....yest
topcowally (10:05:33 AM): let's see if i can make it first
topcowally (10:06:09 AM): oooh...let's wear our supermarket sweep sweatshirts
topcowally (10:06:13 AM): and be contestants
JHmiraclebeam (10:06:15 AM): just wear a sweater vest
topcowally (10:06:15 AM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (10:06:17 AM): ask leJ
Hmiraclebeam (10:06:34 AM): haha....
JHmiraclebeam (10:06:37 AM): we're so gay
topcowally (10:06:47 AM): let's do that
topcowally (10:06:53 AM): and push around a cart all day
topcowally (10:06:55 AM): haha
topcowally (10:07:07 AM): let's go borrow the training ones
topcowally (10:07:23 AM): from ralphs
JHmiraclebeam (10:07:28 AM): uh...
JHmiraclebeam (10:07:29 AM): no
topcowally (10:07:38 AM): damn i'm gonna make a fake cart
topcowally (10:07:45 AM): out of foil
topcowally (10:07:51 AM): and put like ham and everything in it
topcowally (10:08:01 AM): and wear my sweater
topcowally (10:08:09 AM): w/ a collar shirt underneath
topcowally (10:10:28 AM): i closed the panda
topcowally (10:10:34 AM): he's just in a ball
topcowally (10:10:49 AM): ok lemme see if stay puff can be made
topcowally (10:10:53 AM): we'll see
topcowally (10:10:56 AM): ok ttyl
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:00 AM): aight
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:01 AM): late
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:20 AM): check out this new link brad sent me
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:28 AM): its the pandas at the san diego zoo
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:29 AM): http://sandiegozoo.org/zoo/ex_panda_station.html
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:35 AM): its weird, but they do the same thing
JHmiraclebeam (10:11:38 AM): lazy fuckers
topcowally (10:12:04 AM): that's why they are an endangered species
topcowally (10:12:11 AM): they are probably too lazy to even have sex
JHmiraclebeam (10:13:40 AM): ah....very insightful
JHmiraclebeam (10:13:44 AM): probably
JHmiraclebeam (10:13:49 AM): hey
JHmiraclebeam (10:13:56 AM): did you like the cake yesterday
JHmiraclebeam (10:14:08 AM): i figured since we both llike passion fruit
topcowally (10:14:22 AM): was that passion fruit
topcowally (10:14:27 AM): i couldn't tell what it was
topcowally (10:14:33 AM): i thought it was apple
topcowally (10:15:07 AM): u are a very fruity person
topcowally (10:15:11 AM): in many ways
JHmiraclebeam (10:17:30 AM): me?
JHmiraclebeam (10:17:36 AM): wowsers!
JHmiraclebeam (10:17:39 AM): fag
JHmiraclebeam (10:17:53 AM): whos more sensitive...me or you
topcowally (10:17:55 AM): haha..but seriously i thought it was a pineapple
topcowally (10:17:57 AM): couldn't tellJ
Hmiraclebeam (10:17:59 AM): lets get a poll going?
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:03 AM): me too
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:10 AM): i tasted like it
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:20 AM): it
topcowally (10:18:25 AM): i don't even know what a passion fruit looks like
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:32 AM): yeah you do
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:36 AM): its about 5 ft.
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:40 AM): stipper boots
topcowally (10:18:41 AM): no a real one
JHmiraclebeam (10:18:45 AM): pretty
topcowally (10:18:53 AM): her's are fake
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:10 AM): oh...i dont know then
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:27 AM): the san diego panda is weak....
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:31 AM): its in black and white
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:37 AM): i want to see tai shan in color
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:52 AM): i mean san diego panda cam
topcowally (10:19:56 AM): yeah...let's just go there and see them in person
JHmiraclebeam (10:19:59 AM): i know the panda is black and white
topcowally (10:20:41 AM): wow i didn't even realize your comment
topcowally (10:20:47 AM): until you brought it up
topcowally (10:20:58 AM): what other colors do u want to see
JHmiraclebeam (10:21:48 AM): green
JHmiraclebeam (10:21:56 AM): yellow for the bamboo
topcowally (10:22:06 AM): and brown for his poop
JHmiraclebeam (10:22:10 AM): oh hell yea

what's up party people! sorry, i was pretty busy yesterday, so i didn't get the chance to post the second part of our convo. oh....when i say busy, i mean i was at sam's shopping and developing my pictures. okay.....

continuation from john and brad's morning conversation on october 12, 2005 .......

BSH84 (12:02:39 PM): so on a scale of 1-10 how retarded does jen think we are now?
JHmiraclebeam (12:02:51 PM): im waiting for her to get back
JHmiraclebeam (12:03:02 PM): pettitte or wash
BSH84 (12:03:02 PM): i'm thinking 12
JHmiraclebeam (12:03:05 PM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (12:03:07 PM): i concur
BSH84 (12:03:10 PM): pettite
BSH84 (12:03:16 PM): cause his nose is bigger
JHmiraclebeam (12:03:20 PM): thank you
JHmiraclebeam (12:03:27 PM): jay thinks the cards are gonna win
BSH84 (12:04:02 PM): possibly, homefield, more rest, the eck factor
BSH84 (12:04:06 PM): they have a lot going for them
BSH84 (12:04:22 PM): but its wash...thats all i have to say
JHmiraclebeam (12:04:27 PM): exactly
JHmiraclebeam (12:04:31 PM): bp
BSH84 (12:04:56 PM): a sick wash might be an advantage though
JHmiraclebeam (12:07:44 PM): ah...jen jsut responded with a wow
JHmiraclebeam (12:07:52 PM): that means she thinks we're really stupid
JHmiraclebeam (12:07:56 PM): mission accomplished
JHmiraclebeam (12:08:03 PM): good work my friend
BSH84 (12:08:15 PM): hahaha, maybe its wow you guys are insightful and your discussion is that of scholars
JHmiraclebeam (12:08:26 PM): not quite
BSH84 (12:08:33 PM): wha?!?!!
JHmiraclebeam (12:08:34 PM): but if you want to interpret it that
JHmiraclebeam (12:08:40 PM): more power to you
BSH84 (12:09:00 PM): tomato-to-mato all a different look
JHmiraclebeam (12:09:20 PM): i thought that was one of our better ones
BSH84 (12:09:34 PM): yes buy far we took our level of stupid to a new level
JHmiraclebeam (12:09:35 PM): doesnt say much about us, but yea
JHmiraclebeam (12:09:54 PM): so did we make her dumber for reading it?
JHmiraclebeam (12:10:09 PM): i think we accomplished that
BSH84 (12:10:12 PM): i think whatever she learned in class today is now gone and she'll never get it back
JHmiraclebeam (12:10:28 PM): wow...shes kelly bundy now
BSH84 (12:10:55 PM): maybe she forgot dinner first sex second like kelly too
JHmiraclebeam (12:10:57 PM): i thikn we're just prepping ourselves for thesuperficial and dodgerblues.com
BSH84 (12:11:18 PM): see we do have goals
JHmiraclebeam (12:11:26 PM): yeah we do!
BSH84 (12:13:51 PM): gammons thinks barts injury is career threatening
BSH84 (12:13:51 PM): his pitching career that is, not his competitive eating career...thats still intact
BSH84 (12:14:43 PM): gammons thinks barts injury is career threatening
JHmiraclebeam (12:15:45 PM): nooooooooooo
JHmiraclebeam (12:15:48 PM): man
JHmiraclebeam (12:15:55 PM): the food will still be there
JHmiraclebeam (12:16:07 PM): its not gonna get off the plate and leave
JHmiraclebeam (12:16:08 PM): fuck
BSH84 (12:16:54 PM): if its really bad, maybe they will sign washburn again!!!
BSH84 (12:17:00 PM): the news gets better and better
BSH84 (12:17:14 PM): jen thinks we're retarded for some reason
JHmiraclebeam (12:23:34 PM): i dont know what her problem is
JHmiraclebeam (12:23:39 PM): and fuck that
JHmiraclebeam (12:23:45 PM): i rather see yan start for us
BSH84 (12:24:37 PM): wash was your ace just 3 years ago
JHmiraclebeam (12:26:53 PM): i do acknowledge such fabricated lies!
JHmiraclebeam (12:26:59 PM): do not
BSH84 (12:27:51 PM): my bad was it appier?
JHmiraclebeam (12:44:01 PM): aaron sele
JHmiraclebeam (12:44:08 PM): oh my god
JHmiraclebeam (12:44:15 PM): how did we win the world series
BSH84 (12:51:14 PM): duh the rally monkey
JHmiraclebeam (12:55:49 PM): http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/laguna_beach/001294.php
JHmiraclebeam (12:55:52 PM): good reading
BSH84 (12:56:06 PM): its laguna beach so hell no
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:39 PM): oh
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:44 PM): you dont know whats going on
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:49 PM): so you wont find it as funny
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:51 PM): but try it
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:53 PM): its good
JHmiraclebeam (12:56:59 PM): its not a real recap
JHmiraclebeam (12:57:14 PM): its our kind of witty recap that we would enjoy
JHmiraclebeam (12:57:17 PM): so just do it
BSH84 (12:57:39 PM): i'll take a look
BSH84 (1:05:33 PM): there are no black people in oc
BSH84 (1:05:38 PM): that makes no sense
JHmiraclebeam (1:05:50 PM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (1:05:52 PM): i know
JHmiraclebeam (1:05:59 PM): i see them all the time walking around
BSH84 (1:07:43 PM): i just must be missing them
BSH84 (1:09:45 PM): ireland is such a douche
BSH84 (1:09:53 PM): the person not the country
JHmiraclebeam (1:10:07 PM): really
JHmiraclebeam (1:10:12 PM): i thought you meant the country
BSH84 (1:25:58 PM): no they are just drunks
JHmiraclebeam (1:28:56 PM): you think the dodgers regret letting scioscia
JHmiraclebeam (1:28:57 PM): go
BSH84 (1:29:35 PM): i think we regret losing davey johnson
JHmiraclebeam (1:29:58 PM): really
BSH84 (1:30:08 PM): actually malone
JHmiraclebeam (1:30:10 PM): not so much hoffman
BSH84 (1:31:43 PM): a litle bill russell the most by far
JHmiraclebeam (1:32:22 PM): i bet
JHmiraclebeam (1:32:49 PM): THERE HAS been some talk that the Angels and the Dodgers might be interested in free-agent Chicago first baseman Paul Konerko. He came up in the eighth, two out, two on, the Sox trailing by a run, and hit a shallow fly ball to center. Hard to believe the Dodgers ever let him go; he's perfect for them.

BSH84 (1:33:24 PM): haha.....well if he was still with us he would have struck out
BSH84 (1:33:30 PM): so he has done a lot better by leaving
JHmiraclebeam (1:33:45 PM): thats why we have finley
JHmiraclebeam (1:34:03 PM): to keep his spot warm when he does sign
BSH84 (1:34:55 PM): hmm which first baseman do we get then?
JHmiraclebeam (1:35:35 PM): i say you go for sweeney
JHmiraclebeam (1:35:36 PM): mark
BSH84 (1:38:34 PM): oooh that would be awesome
BSH84 (1:38:46 PM): i mean then him and hee slop can battle for crappy lefthanded first baseman
JHmiraclebeam (1:39:01 PM): hey
JHmiraclebeam (1:39:06 PM): mark isnt that bad
JHmiraclebeam (1:39:15 PM): its not like hes luke scott
JHmiraclebeam (1:39:18 PM): you miss him right
BSH84 (1:39:36 PM): i miss bruce aven
JHmiraclebeam (1:40:04 PM): haha
BSH84 (1:49:20 PM): what is the best actor singing song? don johnson's hearbeat, eddie murphy's party all the time or patrick swayze's hungary eyes?
JHmiraclebeam (1:50:24 PM): gotta go with my boy eddie
JHmiraclebeam (1:51:01 PM): you?
JHmiraclebeam (1:51:17 PM): and you're gay for asking me teh above question
BSH84 (1:52:21 PM): haha...i concur with eddie i just heard it the other day and was like wow, this is awesome.
JHmiraclebeam (1:52:36 PM): do you consider gordon a premier setup man
BSH84 (1:52:39 PM): i wanted to see if you could come up with a dumber real question that that
JHmiraclebeam (1:52:53 PM): nope
BSH84 (1:52:58 PM): yes i win!
JHmiraclebeam (1:53:01 PM): you stumped me with that one
JHmiraclebeam (1:53:08 PM): it was a good quality question too
JHmiraclebeam (1:53:30 PM): its like asking which singer had the best movie
BSH84 (1:53:51 PM): i think gordon is one of the better ones by far, but i he is not without faults. but then again i can't really think of who would be your prototypical set up man
JHmiraclebeam (1:54:41 PM): mariah with glitter, vanilla ice with cool as ice, or michael jackson in oz
JHmiraclebeam (1:54:44 PM): the kid
BSH84 (1:55:31 PM): ooh i'm going with mj, cause it reminds us all that the wizard of oz isn't just a story of mid america, but also of ghetto harlem
BSH84 (1:55:39 PM): the kid?
JHmiraclebeam (1:57:47 PM): sorry...the wiz
BSH84 (1:58:29 PM): i knew what you meant
JHmiraclebeam (1:59:21 PM): had to look it up
BSH84 (1:59:40 PM): its okay i had to look up don johnson's hit song as well
JHmiraclebeam (2:00:18 PM): hahaa
JHmiraclebeam (2:00:49 PM): as long as we knew aobut it, its the same as actually knowing the exact song title
BSH84 (2:01:03 PM): and movie title
BSH84 (2:01:50 PM): i hate my new chair
JHmiraclebeam (2:06:14 PM): you just need to break it in
BSH84 (2:08:49 PM): no it won't go down far enough so i can cross my legs under my desk
JHmiraclebeam (2:09:50 PM): trade your chair with someone
BSH84 (2:11:27 PM): they all seem to like theirs, don't worry i'm trying though
JHmiraclebeam (2:12:39 PM): as long as you dont give up
JHmiraclebeam (2:12:45 PM): dont ever give up
BSH84 (2:12:54 PM): thanks jimmy v
BSH84 (2:13:14 PM): i think there are a lot of similarities between me getting a comfortable chair and him battling cancer
JHmiraclebeam (2:13:24 PM): no its john brad
JHmiraclebeam (2:13:36 PM): not really
JHmiraclebeam (2:13:43 PM): he's dead....you're alive
JHmiraclebeam (2:14:02 PM): but we're both champions
JHmiraclebeam (2:14:15 PM): whether it be softball or college basketball
JHmiraclebeam (2:14:23 PM): we are champions!
BSH84 (2:14:38 PM): hahahahhaaha
JHmiraclebeam (2:14:47 PM): yeah
BSH84 (2:14:49 PM): well i'll win my battle whereas he eventually did give up
JHmiraclebeam (2:14:50 PM): im gonna die
JHmiraclebeam (2:15:04 PM): i was mocking our lord and savior earlier today too
BSH84 (2:15:18 PM): i think a lightining storm is due over my desk anytime now
JHmiraclebeam (2:15:23 PM): hahahah....he is a quiter
JHmiraclebeam (2:15:59 PM): i just need a retarded kid to roll by to complete my mocking trifecta
BSH84 (2:18:41 PM): don't worry the trailer for "the ringer" is out now
BSH84 (2:18:46 PM): feel free to watch and comment
BSH84 (2:18:57 PM): http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/the_ringer/
JHmiraclebeam (2:19:21 PM): thats just awsome
JHmiraclebeam (2:19:27 PM): when is it suppposed to come out
BSH84 (2:19:47 PM): december 23rd, obviously in time for the oscars
JHmiraclebeam (2:19:56 PM): just made the cut
BSH84 (2:20:00 PM): yep
JHmiraclebeam (2:20:05 PM): so wrong
JHmiraclebeam (2:20:09 PM): yet so good
BSH84 (2:20:18 PM): so we're there first showing right?
BSH84 (2:20:27 PM): i'll be off that day
JHmiraclebeam (2:20:41 PM): yeah
JHmiraclebeam (2:20:53 PM): you gonna wait in line for us again
JHmiraclebeam (2:20:53 PM): haha
BSH84 (2:24:09 PM): haha, and i;ll bring some weird guy i met on the internet again
JHmiraclebeam (2:27:32 PM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (2:27:36 PM): that was cool
BSH84 (2:30:58 PM): how can i book a cruise through the vikings?
JHmiraclebeam (2:31:09 PM): you're fucking stupid
BSH84 (2:32:28 PM): my bad
JHmiraclebeam (2:36:08 PM): its okay
JHmiraclebeam (2:36:13 PM): you know i cant stay mad at you
BSH84 (2:37:11 PM): haha...whats wrong with their cruise lines? is the crab bad?
BSH84 (2:37:15 PM): i know i know i'm fucking stupid
BSH84 (2:37:39 PM): game at 9:30 right?
JHmiraclebeam (2:39:26 PM): wait
JHmiraclebeam (2:39:32 PM): what are you talking about
JHmiraclebeam (2:39:47 PM): are you going to sam woo with us for mikes going away dinner
JHmiraclebeam (2:39:54 PM): 715
JHmiraclebeam (2:40:01 PM): i dont know how we're gonna fit
BSH84 (2:40:39 PM): which sam woo? the one on valley?
BSH84 (2:40:53 PM): why are we eating before the game?
JHmiraclebeam (2:41:27 PM): the game is at 930
JHmiraclebeam (2:41:32 PM): mike is leaving
BSH84 (2:41:50 PM): which sam woo?
JHmiraclebeam (2:41:53 PM): to that hell hole we call northern cali
JHmiraclebeam (2:41:55 PM): on valley
JHmiraclebeam (2:42:16 PM): i suggested the place in vegas, but no one wanted to go
BSH84 (2:42:16 PM): yeah that one holds like 5 people i think
BSH84 (2:42:29 PM): weak....i suggest marco polo ice cream
JHmiraclebeam (2:46:14 PM): its not ICE CREAM!
JHmiraclebeam (2:47:43 PM): wow
BSH84 (2:47:43 PM): hahaha.....thats what i was waiting for
JHmiraclebeam (2:48:00 PM): the syrian interior minister "committed" suicide
JHmiraclebeam (2:48:05 PM): right......
BSH84 (2:48:14 PM): just like nicole brown did
JHmiraclebeam (2:48:18 PM): haha
JHmiraclebeam (2:48:35 PM): not cool
JHmiraclebeam (2:48:46 PM): we all know ron goldman did it
BSH84 (2:49:18 PM): no way, a white man would never kill anyone, its impossible
JHmiraclebeam (2:50:21 PM): you dont think its possible?
JHmiraclebeam (2:50:28 PM): only blacks and mexicans
JHmiraclebeam (2:50:34 PM): asians dont either
BSH84 (2:50:58 PM): i also heard that mexicans and blacks are being used as street drugs
BSH84 (2:55:28 PM): make sure jen gets this riveting conversation too
JHmiraclebeam (2:56:34 PM): no way....i dont believe
JHmiraclebeam (2:56:40 PM): im trying to picture it
JHmiraclebeam (2:56:44 PM): but i dont see it
BSH84 (3:01:00 PM): did you see that katie holmes' dad is not impressed with tom?
BSH84 (3:01:11 PM): cause that was hard to see coming
JHmiraclebeam (3:01:43 PM): no way
JHmiraclebeam (3:02:03 PM): so he doesnt appreciate tom like we do
BSH84 (3:02:56 PM): he doesn't understand xenu, thats all
JHmiraclebeam (3:03:31 PM): once he fully embraces the ideology of this wonderful religion...he will see the light
JHmiraclebeam (3:08:45 PM): i just reread our conversation since 12 and its awesome
JHmiraclebeam (3:08:46 PM): hahaha
JHmiraclebeam (3:08:57 PM): im gonna send this over to jen too

so i guess this will be my first post. i would like to thank brad for taking time out on this busy friday to create this wonderful blogger page. i really don't know why brad created this, but i do know this......we're fucking stupid!

so here is one of the convo's i actually saved......enjoy!

john and brad's morning conversation....october 12, 2005

brad: I think you should make an mp3 of you doing a kroq sports report and enter it to them. They are looking and even though you aren't a midget I think its something you could do...well you or a monkey, but monkeys are more interested in pooping than sports.

john: I say we both try and see how we both do. Do you think it would help if I had a sidekick monkey. I mean if vic the brick can do it, im sure a monkey could do it.

brad: hmm that sounds like a challenge...i wonder if i could call in and do sports everday, or leave for the morning, no one would notice anyway. if joe grande can have his own sports show, i'll have my own sports staion shortly

john: Oh...for sure, we both get our own shows. So now that they got rid of big joe, are they going to get rid of ireland and mason or extend them so we get to listen to them for 7 hours? Think about the great conversation we would get. Im getting giddy just thinking about it......

brad: yeah i just read about big joe leaving, douchebag and douchebag (mason and ireland) will now be on from 3-6, and they are so good i think they'll get lifetime contracts so they have a nice 1-3 opening, i think i'm gonna apply.

john: You should and I hope you get it. that way I can keep calling in and pretending im a fob, well I am, but with an accent and complain about not getting any help from the city of orange about my neighbors fuckin dog. Sound good......

brad: not cool bitch i'll kill the next person's dog who calls in about that...well actually more them, their dog is innocent.

allen iverson says that the proposed nba dress code would be bad towards children because they would think if they don't have a suit their teacher isn't going to respect them, marcus camby suggests the nba give each player a stipend to buy clothes (he only gets 7.5 million). why are nba players so cool? no word from laterell who would need money to feed his family, buy clothes for his family, and now clothes for himself!!!! oh the humanity.

john: I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

brad: i like to consider myself mr. black people, but i still don't get this one.

john: My comment or the thinking of the players. If you're talking about the players.......come on get with it man. What is there not to get?

brad: i'm sorry i'm reading through these contracts and stuff and i guess my mind is going crazy...i thought suits cost a few hundred and if you make a few million you could probably afford these yourself, and i guess looking nice is not a good thing......sorry i got it now.

john: You just assume things and judge people. You have to look at things through their eyes. Come on brad...your parents raised you better than that.

brad: well my parents raised me to respect decisions and understand the value of making a paycheck.....but i guess they were wrong, and if they're wrong about that, then i think they're wrong about everything, drugs, strippers, working, school.....all wrong!

john: Brad....you have to understand. We live in a different age. You forgot about gambling by the way. As I was saying....drugs, gambling, and strippers are acceptable in our society. We should embrace them with open arms and not judge. So meet at my house after work and we'll go to morongo and stop by the nudie bar for some boobies and crack. Sound good?

brad: now you're just being stupid john, everyone knows that if you are doing drugs in the IE you are doing Meth, its the drug of choice. and sorry for forgetting gambling i can't believe i forgot about that one. gambling, boobies, and meth are like tennis, golf and the cbs nightly news for other generations i guess. i somehow need to be a more foreward thinker

john: Okay....i think im gonna stop here. I don't think I can continue this. Sign on already yeah?

brad: i'll sign on in a bit i gotta at least get through most of my agenda today, oh crap what am i talking about i don't work i forgot....don't worry i'll be on in a bit.....and i think we could have continued this conversation it was riveting.

john: Yes…this is what we do at work. Hahaha

part deux....monday!

Brad and John’s cool conversations August 30, 2005
BSH84: what did the dodgers send you?
JHmiraclebeam: ticket offres and newsletters
JHmiraclebeam: its weird
JHmiraclebeam: they need to get a new marketing team
BSH84: the buy one get one free deal? or the pleading to please buy tix even though we suck tix request?
BSH84: whats wrong with our marketing team?
JHmiraclebeam: their headlines are peculiar
BSH84: are the headlines about the playoff hunt?
JHmiraclebeam: "come see our racist kkk leader and our crazy center fielder go at it in the dugout"
JHmiraclebeam: "watch the crappiest division make a run for the playoffs!:
BSH84: hahaha....i see your point i would have gone with black panter-esque centerfielder
BSH84: panther^
JHmiraclebeam: ahhh....yes
BSH84: i'm calling the n.l west winner will bea the cardinals
JHmiraclebeam: haah
BSH84: nl wild card will win the nl again this year
JHmiraclebeam: ah....are the cardinals the new indy colts of the mlb
BSH84: all offense, fun to watch, but can't get over the last hurdle....i think so
BSH84: who is their brady?
JHmiraclebeam: hmmmm....they havent found that one yet
BSH84: i think its larussa, he seems to beat them a lot
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: yes
JHmiraclebeam: yes he does
JHmiraclebeam: he doesnt deserve all the credit he gets
JHmiraclebeam: look it all the teams he had
JHmiraclebeam: they could manage themselves
BSH84: and how many championships does he have again?
JHmiraclebeam: uh...numerous
JHmiraclebeam: i cant count them all
BSH84: yeah...so good
JHmiraclebeam: man
JHmiraclebeam: you missed out on a full day of work yesterday
JHmiraclebeam: the a's did good for me
JHmiraclebeam: i talked ot joe's girl on aim
JHmiraclebeam: i feel like a really old perv, but it was fun
JHmiraclebeam: hahah
BSH84: haha...joe says she is a bitch, your opinion?
BSH84: ooh can i talk to her today too...haha
JHmiraclebeam: at first when we met her on sunday she was
JHmiraclebeam: but talking to her on aim, shes cool
JHmiraclebeam: so ill give her the benefit of the doubt
JHmiraclebeam: is that right?
JHmiraclebeam: it just sounds funny
BSH84: yeah thats right
BSH84: did you start the convo with the basic: a/s/l?
JHmiraclebeam: and cliches are stupidJHmiraclebeam: noJHmiraclebeam: wa
JHmiraclebeam: y
JHmiraclebeam: i asked her if she likes it in the ass
JHmiraclebeam: dry or with lube
BSH84: thats much more appropriate
BSH84: she said dry right?
JHmiraclebeam: she said try
JHmiraclebeam: dry
BSH84: thats why you kept taking to her
JHmiraclebeam: bud dry
JHmiraclebeam: of course
JHmiraclebeam: shes a trooper
BSH84: a storm trooper?!?!!!!?!
JHmiraclebeam: no
JHmiraclebeam: a koopa troopa
JHmiraclebeam: i swear
JHmiraclebeam: we're fucking stupid
BSH84: yeah i know
BSH84: did you tell that girl to msg your brother at least cause it would make his year?
JHmiraclebeam: should we print out a days convo and give it to a psychiatrist and ask him/her to psycho-analyze it?
JHmiraclebeam: im gettting ot it
JHmiraclebeam: didnt want to freak her out
JHmiraclebeam: befriend her first
BSH84: i think the psychiatrist would come back with either "monkeys wrote this" or "i'm reading the ramblings of retards"
JHmiraclebeam: then break into her house and steal her underwear
BSH84: you have it all planned out
JHmiraclebeam: or "these monkeys are rambling like retards
JHmiraclebeam: "
BSH84: oooh retarded monkeys...theres somethign!
JHmiraclebeam: yes
JHmiraclebeam: listening to hall and oates
JHmiraclebeam: you?
BSH84: dan patrick show
BSH84: i forgot my ipod, so nothing to listen too today
JHmiraclebeam: weak
JHmiraclebeam: is he back
JHmiraclebeam: any good picks from mr. dp
JHmiraclebeam: or tidbits
BSH84: his show is just starting, yesterday he was asking should we criticize shanahan for taking clarrett or commend him for admitting he made a mistake
JHmiraclebeam: i say both
BSH84: i agree
JHmiraclebeam: commend him for being a fucking moron that realized his mistake
BSH84: but on the plus side i think i can win my clarrett jersey i'm bidding for on ebay for a dollar
JHmiraclebeam: hahha
JHmiraclebeam: sweet
JHmiraclebeam: get it
JHmiraclebeam: you have to
BSH84: hmm whats the max i would pay for this collector item?
JHmiraclebeam: i think he needs to admit he made a mistake for leaving the raiders
JHmiraclebeam: we'll both get it
JHmiraclebeam: ill wear it to the sd game if we go
BSH84: no, the raiders made him leave, you know he wanted to stay
BSH84: haha...sweet, i'll pay whatever for it now!
JHmiraclebeam: whaaa?????
JHmiraclebeam: the raiders made him leave
JHmiraclebeam: but they justly compensated him right
BSH84: man i thought the auction ended tomorrow, its in 5 days, week
BSH84: oh yeah they paid him his salary and then some
JHmiraclebeam: thats the al davis i know
BSH84: he is a great guy
BSH84: not like that jerk cuban
BSH84: neat, did you know that the cops had to come out to milton bradley's house 3 times on domestic violence calls.....this summer alone?JHmiraclebeam: wtf
JHmiraclebeam: did you know my boss is a fat fucking idiot
BSH84: nope, never heard that before, i think you are lying, you always say how much you love and respect your coworkers, especially your boss
JHmiraclebeam: yup
JHmiraclebeam: totally new to me too
JHmiraclebeam: just realized today
BSH84: i think its just a phase, you'll get over it shortly
JHmiraclebeam: yeah
JHmiraclebeam: probably
BSH84: over it now? great!
JHmiraclebeam: yeah
JHmiraclebeam: totally
JHmiraclebeam: if something bad happens
BSH84: so take a wild guess on the 3 occasions the cops came to bradley's what happend
JHmiraclebeam: the leader or boss is the one that is supposed to remain cool
JHmiraclebeam: keep us composed
JHmiraclebeam: no...he gets a crazy and shit
JHmiraclebeam: maybe im crazy
JHmiraclebeam: yeah...thats it
BSH84: just go slap him in the face and say snap out of it
JHmiraclebeam: i just dont know
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: hmmm...slap or punch
JHmiraclebeam: i will do either
BSH84: or the old kick to the balls, that works tooJHmiraclebeam: hmmm....
JHmiraclebeam: ill save that one
BSH84: ooh the orange county register is saying the angels should ditch the monkey
JHmiraclebeam: who?
JHmiraclebeam: bartolo or rally
BSH84: rally
BSH84: dan patrick took his 13 year old to hooters last night for the first time
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: sweet
BSH84: do i want to go to on a groundwater adventure tour next thurs?
JHmiraclebeam: huh
JHmiraclebeam: where
BSH84: the tour includes: the water purification plant, the recharge facilities in anaheim and prado dam, i'll also get to replant an endangered spicies!!!!?!?!!JHmiraclebeam: wow
JHmiraclebeam: all for a low price of.......
BSH84: free
BSH84: with breakfast and lunch
JHmiraclebeam: ohh...JHmiraclebeam: count me in
BSH84: okay call lisa sanchez, tell her you are dirty and that you want to go
JHmiraclebeam: sounds good
JHmiraclebeam: fuck i hate this place
JHmiraclebeam: should of listened to adam sandler and stayed in school as long as possible
BSH84: only if you are a big fat kid that he can smoosh your face
BSH84: just quit today, then you and jay could have the same schedule...and well basically i could too, cause no one would notice
JHmiraclebeam: hahha
JHmiraclebeam: just gamble professionally right
JHmiraclebeam: you feeling garland today
BSH84: yes, make it your full time job to research and gamble
BSH84: no i'm not feeling anyone on the whitesox
BSH84: plus the rangers are stealing signs
JHmiraclebeam: the movieJHmiraclebeam: it wasnt that goodBSH84: which movie?JHmiraclebeam: signs
JHmiraclebeam: couldnt they jsut buy it
JHmiraclebeam: they're rich
JHmiraclebeam: yeah
JHmiraclebeam: im gonna keep going with this shitty joke
JHmiraclebeam: not even a joke
JHmiraclebeam: comement
JHmiraclebeam: fuck youy
JHmiraclebeam: dont judge me bithc
JHmiraclebeam: i hate
JHmiraclebeam: you
JHmiraclebeam: brb
BSH84: haha...okay, onto the simmons email page
BSH84: http://files.blog-city.com/files/aa/49025/b/kbrequestsvideo3.mpg
JHmiraclebeam: cant open it
BSH84: damn
JHmiraclebeam: manual labor
JHmiraclebeam: its fantastic
JHmiraclebeam: now if it were emmanuelle labor
JHmiraclebeam: i wouldnt complain
BSH84: then i would work there
BSH84: 5 biggest egos for nfl coaches
JHmiraclebeam: not shannahan
JHmiraclebeam: billick
JHmiraclebeam: or vermeil
BSH84: they finally named billick, took forever to get to him
BSH84: shanahan too....i know shocking
JHmiraclebeam: parcell
JHmiraclebeam: maybe
JHmiraclebeam: nawwww
JHmiraclebeam: im crazy
BSH84: you bite your lip boy!
BSH84: you are missing an obvious one for you
JHmiraclebeam: martz that muther fucker
JHmiraclebeam: am i off
JHmiraclebeam: or gruden
BSH84: no its martz....the difference between parcells/shanny/holgren and martz is that the first 3 dont' let their ego affect their coaching as much as martz
JHmiraclebeam: yup
BSH84: but luckily martz ego is as big and good as his coaching abilities so ther rams still win
JHmiraclebeam: holgren isnt that bad though
BSH84: off the field they say he is
JHmiraclebeam: hes big and has a bushy mustache
JHmiraclebeam: you cant hate him
BSH84: thats true, unless he cost you money right?
JHmiraclebeam: of course
JHmiraclebeam: so i do hate him
JHmiraclebeam: vermeil seems cool
JHmiraclebeam: but attentino whore
BSH84: i wasn't sure if he had or not, yeah vermeil cries, so no ego
BSH84: did martymcfly have an ego?
JHmiraclebeam: he didnt have a brain
JHmiraclebeam: so i dont think so
BSH84: oh okay that makes more sense
BSH84: i was telling my brother about bradley and he thought i was talking about myself in the third person
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: is it sept. 8th yet
(edited)
BSH84: not that you circled every calendar right?
BSH84: i even have it marked for you
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: thanks
BSH84: hmm think i can stil still long enough that my sensor turns the light off, finished lunch and don't want to start working yet
JHmiraclebeam: i think you can
JHmiraclebeam: try it
BSH84: okay here we go........
JHmiraclebeam: lets go bradley blaine
JHmiraclebeam: if you do it, i think you get josie moran
BSH84: i had to move, damn it
JHmiraclebeam: I am away from my computer right now.
BSH84: who is josie moran?
JHmiraclebeam: what?
JHmiraclebeam: you're kidding me right
JHmiraclebeam: shes so pretty
BSH84: brain freeze, my bad
BSH84: i thought you mean rick moranis
JHmiraclebeam: look her up
JHmiraclebeam: ahhh......
JHmiraclebeam: i do confuse the two
BSH84: i bet they get it a lot
JHmiraclebeam: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/tfr/94125152.html
JHmiraclebeam: since you are asian
BSH84: i sent that to joe
JHmiraclebeam: oh
JHmiraclebeam: my bad
JHmiraclebeam: then....are you gonna do it
BSH84: they denied me cause i'm white
BSH84: i'm suing
JHmiraclebeam: thats bullshit
BSH84: everyone is out to get whitey
JHmiraclebeam: i can prove you're part asian
BSH84: which part?
JHmiraclebeam: your abitlity to make a tv out of matches
BSH84: can't mcguver do that too?
JHmiraclebeam: no
JHmiraclebeam: he's not asain
BSH84: what about data from goonies
JHmiraclebeam: maybe
JHmiraclebeam: i say the best chance would be the armo from johnney five
JHmiraclebeam: short circuit
JHmiraclebeam: although i think hes jewish
BSH84: no he is dominican...when he played baseball he was pedro guererrooooooo
JHmiraclebeam: stephen fischer
JHmiraclebeam: is that his stage name
BSH84: it must be
BSH84: are you taking penny or prior?
BSH84: bradley or guillen?
JHmiraclebeam: over
JHmiraclebeam: and bradley
JHmiraclebeam: cant bet against the black guy
BSH84: blacks beat dommicans?
BSH84: over? what is the line?
JHmiraclebeam: 7.5
BSH84: yeah i'd go over too
BSH84: i'd put jays life on it today
JHmiraclebeam: or did the dodger use up all the runs yestereday
BSH84: we will get a few, and penny will give up at least 2 hrs
BSH84: yes!!! being put on hold for *waiting time, over 10 minutes* with child support
JHmiraclebeam: you have a child
JHmiraclebeam: brad.....
JHmiraclebeam: condoms break
BSH84: yeah, and the bitch won't pay me my montly money
JHmiraclebeam: deal with it?
BSH84: yeah thats what i told her
BSH84: i have the crappy old phone with no speaker phone either, so i have to hold the phone up
JHmiraclebeam: hahhaa
JHmiraclebeam: sweet
JHmiraclebeam: now i know why lasorda traded konerko
JHmiraclebeam: he sucks
BSH84: is bartolo really the leading candidate for cy young?
BSH84: cause konkerko is no jeff shaw, duh
JHmiraclebeam: or delino?
JHmiraclebeam: hey
JHmiraclebeam: when does mac come back
BSH84: yeah i was wondering i have no idea
BSH84: what time is our game tomorrow?
JHmiraclebeam: 730
BSH84: sweet, did francis sign the whole team back to long term deals?
JHmiraclebeam: i dont know
JHmiraclebeam: some are being signed to 1 year contracts
JHmiraclebeam: we're in arbitration still
JHmiraclebeam: sweet
JHmiraclebeam: gotta love mark tex.
JHmiraclebeam: that fucker
BSH84: hmm thats a good point, if i don't get a long term deal after this year though, i'm holding out
BSH84: tex is okay, i think the rangers should trade him for edwin jackson, straight up
JHmiraclebeam: really
JHmiraclebeam: you dont hee sop or phillips
BSH84: sure why not
BSH84: and carrera, and sanez, and robles
BSH84: its a real steal
BSH84: throw in brazobad too
JHmiraclebeam: no
JHmiraclebeam: thats for the trade with arizona
JHmiraclebeam: oh
JHmiraclebeam: its a pitchers duel already
BSH84: i noticed
BSH84: are you sad peerless got dropped?
JHmiraclebeam: the price is wrong bitch
BSH84: apparently so, can he go back to buf now?
BSH84: i say philly
JHmiraclebeam: hmm
JHmiraclebeam: that would make sense
JHmiraclebeam: and freddie will go bakc there too right
BSH84: we can all only hope
BSH84: are you getting the nfl package with the option to watch all 8 games on the screen at the same time?
JHmiraclebeam: uh
JHmiraclebeam: i dont have directv
JHmiraclebeam: no lingerie bowl this year
JHmiraclebeam: again
BSH84: are they holding out too? there just isn't any loyalty in today's game
BSH84: spiderbabe was on last night
JHmiraclebeam: no
JHmiraclebeam: i mean
BSH84: its so awesome
JHmiraclebeam: i dont get it
JHmiraclebeam: tape it for me bitch
BSH84: hahaha....i don't follow its scheudle i just saw it was on
JHmiraclebeam: fucking excuses
JHmiraclebeam: hold out
JHmiraclebeam: selfish
JHmiraclebeam: only keep it to yourself
BSH84: okay i'll check for its schedule
BSH84: if they put it back on in demand it won't be a problem
JHmiraclebeam: thats all i ask
JHmiraclebeam: a little effort
JHmiraclebeam: shit
BSH84: better future tim couch or maurice clarrett
JHmiraclebeam: couch
BSH84: neither will play again, so i say push
BSH84: damn i forgot to put on a belt today, i feel like a douche
JHmiraclebeam: haha
JHmiraclebeam: feel or you are
JHmiraclebeam: damn geoff blum
JHmiraclebeam: anytime you spell jeff like that, you're a douche
JHmiraclebeam: of course if yoiu bet you're a douche too
BSH84: douches all around today i guess
BSH84: they don't want to play football games in miss or lousisana cause they don't have electricity...isn't this the south? when did they get electricity
BSH84: they just showed the french quarter, i hope the gold club is okay
JHmiraclebeam: i should email her huh
BSH84: yes
BSH84: i swear my old coworker never threw anything out
BSH84: i'm going through stuff from 02 now
BSH84: pat o'briens is franchising itself, i say we open one in LA
JHmiraclebeam: if we get one
JHmiraclebeam: do we get to talk dirty to the customers
BSH84: of course
BSH84: but only on the phone
BSH84: chapter 6 thus far is not entertaining
JHmiraclebeam: for r kelly
JHmiraclebeam: bob sagets at the improv this weekend
BSH84: i like him at rehab more
JHmiraclebeam: just cause you'll take adv. of him
JHmiraclebeam: i really hate geoff blum
BSH84: hey if he wants coke he knows how to get it
BSH84: teixeria is doing okay today
BSH84: nose bleeds suck
JHmiraclebeam: eh
BSH84: its only the 5th?!?
JHmiraclebeam: yup
JHmiraclebeam: i thought it was the tiger indians game for a moment
BSH84: didn't they stop scoring after the 5th though?
JHmiraclebeam: yeah
JHmiraclebeam: maybe i should have taken the over
JHmiraclebeam: nah...tooo easy
BSH84: so take the under for game 2?
JHmiraclebeam: not touching that one
JHmiraclebeam: liberty or fever
BSH84: fever, cause they're hot!
JHmiraclebeam: f you
JHmiraclebeam: thanks for the crap
BSH84: haha...yeah its bad
BSH84: the live part is extra stupid
BSH84: nose bleeds are fun
JHmiraclebeam: i think you mentioned it
BSH84: really, cause usually they stop
BSH84: did you go with the liberty?
BSH84: "the only team that could possibly beat ourselves, is ourselves" - reggie bush